i was a new graduate of Ursinus College in 2006 when i went to a weekend Christian camp. a young man asked me about my plans. when i told him i’d be getting a PhD, he let out an old-man bark/laugh:
“what happened to the days when women would have five children instead of five letters behind their name?”
the joke stung. my value as a person was instantly limited to my marital status and the amount of children i could produce.
7 years later, an article is now actually suggesting that black women ditch college and just get married.
the author believes that older black women are going back to school for the purpose of making more money. instead of spending that energy and time on a degree, they should find a husband who will financially provide for them.
it’s not that i don’t want my future husband to financially provide for me; my Dad pays for everything, still. i just don’t like the idea of restricting one’s education for the sole purpose of finding a man. i don’t like the underlying message, which is, “a man won’t want you if you’re too smart.” i don’t like the idea that learning is only tied to financial success, rather than a desire for personal and intellectual growth. and i especially am tired of hearing what black women should or should not do in order to catch, keep, seduce, conjure up a man. why is there this need for EVERYBODY to police the lives of black women?
be well + stay smart,