My life feels chaotic. In a week, I had a fight with my friend, ran into an ex, met a cute Hungarian Calvinist, and then an Iranian engineer. My car wouldn’t start, I had a boatload of laundry, and of course my dissertation was on somewhat of a standstill while I scrambled to pick up the pieces of my life.
I quickly realized that I had two options: I could cry about the messiness of my life, or I could step into my 6 inch heels and, with the help of the Lord, run my life like a boss. I chose the latter.
In the midst of the ongoing drama/romantic comedy that is my life, I realized that the Lord empowered me to make decisions that glorify Him and that are, in turn, best for me. It’s easy to feel helpless when everything is up in the air; it’s hard to feel like God is by Your side. But He is! The Lord is ever present. He loves me. And every time something goes wrong, I wait for God to show me how awesome and powerful He is. He never fails me. When I don’t worry, I show God that I truly recognize His power.
And He didn’t! When I asked for help, or wisdom, I had it immediately. My ex came through to help me with my car on Saturday night. On Sunday morning, my family turned my car’s breakdown into a party. They drove 3 hours to make sure my car was fixed. My mom made roti and curry (my absolute favorite meal!); my dad came through with enough tools, seemingly, to rebuild an engine. We laughed together, rested when it got too hot, prayed together and took an abbreviated walk by the reservoir. I felt encouraged: they handed me the truth about myself when I had questions about my past, present and future.
The older I get, the more I realize that I will never have a perfect life. Just today I got a ticket, found out that my favorite earring is really gone for good, lost my phone, and slept too long this afternoon. A few weeks ago, I would have been stressed out. You’d be able to hear my wails from here: “WHY ME GOD!”
These days, however, I take it all in stride. I acknowledge the way I’m feeling in the moment: upset, tired, confused, irritated.
But then I take a deep breath, thank God, and figure out what my next move should be.
p.s. at a coffeeshop, Lean on Me *just* started playing. i love God!