At 5 am, I always think I’m a superhero. I wake up, go to the gym, run, spend time with Jesus, then rush to campus to write. My superhero image is wrecked by 8:30 am, when I’m yelling at the drivers of green Subarus, who are slowing down to look at cows and horses. I mean, honestly. We’ve all seen cows before. You’ll see them again on your ride home. Yet your foot is HOVERING over the bloody brake pedal, even when there’s a green light. Why?!?! Why. The brake is for police officers and children. Otherwise, move out of the way!!!
9 am: I get to campus, and refuse to take off my sunglasses, even once I am in my building. I call it the “Anna Wintour.”
Just keep those sunglasses on, that way you can ignore everybody and everything until you get to your office. It gives me 5 extra minutes to think about my day. And, on the plus side, everyone else thinks that you’re either important or crazy, so nobody interrupts your thoughts.
9:30 am: Typing up notes for a revision. These notes are now at least a month old, and have phrases with missing words and too many question marks. I still don’t know what “cp normative/transgressive/shifting” means, but I will figure it out by tomorrow, because I have no choice. To the tune of Ds “Versace,” I sing “revisions revisions revisions revisions…I’m getting a PhD and nobody can stop me!” I think about posting this bit of stupidity on Facebook, and wisely reconsider.
10 am: Reread the short story for today’s class. I feel a deep sense of jealousy and pride at Adichie’s ability to write a full bodied short story in 11 pages. I listen to 2 Chainz “Feds Watching” to get me pumped.
11:10 am: I know my students think I’m a bit of a diva for drinking Perrier while I’m teaching, but honestly…is there any other sparkling water one should drink while teaching a class?
11:30: Sugar. I am exhausted. Why did I wake up at 5 am again? And wasn’t I out until 11 last night? My students are amazing–insightful, funny, and good readers. Dear God, thank you.
12:10: can i take a nap? No? Okay then, Law and Order with lunch. Consider, briefly, becoming a detective in night school. Nix that and get back to revising your dissertation.
1:00: Print dissertation. Yes, another $6.00 down the drain. Maybe I should write less. Oh sugar! Did I get lipstick on the title page?!?!
2 pm: What am I supposed to be doing right now? Where did my to-do list go? I need to listen to Plies. Like right now. And then watch Beyonce’s “Bow Down”, or “Run the World.”
And then watch Olivia Pope walk in somewhere and fix something while looking glamourous.
Because dang it, they’re black women, and I’m a black woman, and I run this!
Well, soon enough, anyway.
Where did those revisions go?
Whatever. Can’t wait for drinks with my girls later!