D. and I were eating too many chips at a tex mex place when I told her about an opportunity I was reluctant to follow up on.
“This is something you’ve always wanted. What are you afraid of?” she asked, her gaze unwavering.
I hemmed. I hawed.
I was, as it turns out, afraid of a lot. Of failure, mainly. Of the unknown.
“What should I do?”
“Just lean in,” she said.
I can be a scaredy-cat. I never really seem like one because I always have a set of stories that feature me heading into the unknown with a friend whose thirst for adventure matches my own. But when it comes to getting the things I really want–marriage, children, a great job and several book deals (and lots of property!)–I can be chicken, doubting my own abilities and God’s ability to provide.
I forget that acting in fear rather than faith is (usually) sinful. I forget who God is, and, being made in His image, I forget who I am and what I am capable of doing.
There is nothing wrong with feeling afraid: I think it’s natural. But not doing something that God wants you to do because you’re afraid–that’s just straight up disobedience.
If I want to show God I love Him, I have to obey Him, even if it means taking a risk. Obedience, or walking according to God’s plan for my life, automatically leads to blessing. Sinfulness, or deliberately turning my back on God and what He wants for me, hurts me and those around me.
To push past my fear, I have to believe that God really will protect me and carry me through whatever challenges are ahead. I have to remember God’s character as my protector, provider and one who loves me more than I can imagine.
So “leaning in” shouldn’t really be difficult.
But it is, anyway. Because I see Goliath with a sword, and all I have are five smooth stones. I forget that God runs things. So one stone can knock down a giant. And a giant that God wants me to face has no power to destroy me.
As I lean in during this new season of my life, I have to remember that my motivations are not getting married, having kids, several book deals, a great job and lots of properties. My motivation should be to hear God say, “well done, thou good and faithful servant.”
May I always yearn to serve the Lord, and may that desire keep me from fear.
Lean in, even if you’re afraid,