My lovely friends sent me a link to this article, “How to Dress So Basic Bros Leave You Alone.” http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/11/how-to-dress-so-basic-bros-leave-you-alone.html
It was a short, funny list that critiqued the Huffpo “23 Trends Guys Hate (But Women Love).” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/18/clothing-guys-hate_n_4293315.html?utm_hp_ref=style&ir=Style
These are trends covered in the Huffpo article
I rolled my eyes as I scrolled down Huffington Post’s list. What really bothered me was that someone thought that this was a worthy story. For years and years and years, there have been monuments built to the male psyche. Men, these books and articles suggest, are simple. If you want a man, you should do these three things,” they state. Or “how to know what your man is thinking!”.
I am tired of all of it.
For one, this question problematically assumes that men are so simple they all want the same things. The question, “What do men want?” never takes into account differences according to age, race, class, sexuality or gender expression. I have dated enough to know that men are more complicated than these books, articles and films suggest. (Yes, men want to have sex; but women want to have sex too! Yes, men may want space, but so do women!)
And while there are books about what women want, there are considerably less. (And mysteriously, most of the recent ones all have to do with women’s sex drives). It seems that most people think that women are SO complicated and difficult to understand that no one could possibly figure out what they want.
The only image that comes up when I type in Google “What women want” *sigh*
So the market is flooded with advice books for women who want men, but considerably less material for men who want women.
And that, too, is a problem. It suggests that women’s desires aren’t worthy of much attention.
Men have wanted me when I was heavier, skinnier, uglier, prettier, with long hair, short hair, natural hair, fake hair, fake nails, no nails, bright lipstick, no lipstick, jeans, skirt, sneakers, high heels…I could go on and on. They liked me with or without all my degrees, with or without a job. Each man’s preferences were different. I don’t worry about what men want, because they seem to be just as fickle as everyone thinks women are.
I’d rather spend my time thinking about what God wants, and what I want. When I’m dating a guy, I do spend time thinking about what he wants, and how I can make him happy.
But trying to figure out what ALL men want, or how all men behave, is a ridiculous venture.
I have too many other things to think about.