I love feeling beautiful, so last night I wore a floor length, v-neck black dress, even though I was meeting my date at a bar. The dress had a discreet slit up the side. I looked like I could have given Elizabeth Taylor a run for her money.
Of course, I stuck out like a sore thumb in a crowd for whom dressing up meant torn stockings, chewed up heels, and winter boots. But we all had a good time anyway, dancing to good music, ringing in the new year with beer, shots of tequila, and kisses that went on a little bit too long for everyone’s comfort.
The evening was a blur of happy people.
Strange moments of the evening:
1. A drunk white man told me I looked fabulous. He told me that he hated white people. Then he stated, for absolutely no reason, “Girl, you better call Tyrone!”
Erykah Badu asked her man to call Tyrone to get his isht in the late 1990s.
2. A black man bumped into me, then apologized. Unfortunately, he continued. “I’m not sorry for bumping into your nice butt,” he said lasciviously. I raised an eyebrow and he panicked. “Are you _________ girl?” he asked. I’m no one’s girl, but my date is around 6’4 and played basketball and football for fun back in the day, so I couldn’t blame the dude for getting anxious. “Forget I said anything.” he said, quickly. “No disrespect.”
Fly women always need bodyguards.
I wasn’t bothered by this man’s statement, but the situation reminded me that women are only deemed safe when they are in the presence of other men. And that’s ridiculous. His apology intimated that it would have been okay for him to talk reckless if I wasn’t with a man.
3. A drunk white man told me I was the most beautiful woman he had ever met, and that I should continue holding out. I don’t know how he knew I was waiting until marriage to have sex but drunk people can be pretty prophetic.
“The man who beholds you should know how beautiful you are on the inside and out.” “Do you know how amazing your smile is?! And your eyes!”
That part of our conversation was lovely. However, he managed to blunder his way into an insult:
“You know,” he said. “Most men want little women.”
Oh dear God! I thought this dress made me look skinny?!?!
“But you!” he shouted. “You are a mountain that I would like to climb! I would climb that mountain several times!”‘
“When you wake up tomorrow,” he said. “I want you to look in the mirror and say, ‘I’m f—ing beautiful.” He continued. “I want you to know that, in my world, you are the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen.”
“I’ll be sure to remember your comments on ugly days,” I told him.
He drew back dramatically. “You could NEVER have an ugly day!” he yelled. “That is impossible!”
Every woman should hear this, at least once in her life. It was a great thing to hear in the early hours of the morning, after I had been drinking and was tired, and my makeup was a bit worn.
The night ended with a surprise bouquet of pink roses just because. It was a great way to start 2014. Can’t wait to see what adventures + blessings will come my way!
Happy New Year!!