As my readers know, I’m a newly minted PhD, single, and on the cusp of turning 30, which is as amazing as it is frightening. Here are questions and statements by well-meaning folks who just don’t get it.
1. So…you just finished your Ph.D. What are you doing next?
This is like asking someone, “so…you just climbed Mount Everest. Which mountain are you climbing next week?”
Just don’t. Celebrate the moment. Let them #humblebrag about all the job offers they have. In the meantime, be everybody’s favorite person by congratulating your loved one and asking instead: “where are you planning to vacation?” Or perhaps, “can i contribute to your vacation fund?” Or even, “lets get you a glass of champagne to celebrate!”
They will love you forever, and ever, and ever amen.
2. You have a PhD?!?!?! It will be so hard for you to get married/find a man
Every time I hear this, I want to slap the taste out of that person’s mouth. Yes, some men are intimidated by intelligent women. The women I know don’t want to be with men who have issues with their success.
A better statement: “you have a PhD? girl, you can have anyone you want.”
And even if that isn’t *quite* true, it is still the best possible response.
3. You have a PhD? Marry a rich white man.
Yes child: my old next door neighbor wants me to go golddigging, but only for rich white men, because, as she stated: “there are no good niggas left, except for your father” and “if a white man cheats it hurts less.” Sooo many problems with all that.
Clearly I’m gonna have to move back to my old neighborhood and start putting this degree to good work.