2014 was not an easy year. Am I the only one who feels this way?
Getting the PhD was not easy. Moving to NY, seemingly on a whim, because God called me to be closer to my family, was not easy. I’ve dealt with imposter syndrome, crazy moments, and straight up haters–people who do their best to discourage me as I bravely move forward to build a life I love, to break the workaholic patterns that I’ve carefully cultivated my whole life.
This is how I’m leaving 2014:
I have bleary eyes, and I’m writing–very much the same condition I was in throughout the year. An article of mine is due today. Last night, when I was discouraged and felt the weight of my exhaustion, I received a copy of a recommendation letter from a dissertation committee member. I didn’t even ask for a copy. It was breathtakingly beautiful and reminded me that doubting myself–and the gifts that the Lord blessed me with–is an insult to God.
When I forgot myself, forgot my abilities, forgot what it is I could do, God used a brilliant scholar to show me the gifts He gave me, and to remind me of my purpose. Getting this email in the last moments of Nia, (the fifth day of Kwanzaa), a day where we are meant to examine our purpose, AND on the cusp of New Year’s Eve lets me know that 2015 will be wonderful.
I pray that in 2015, I would know my power.
I can’t wait for 2015! If you witnessed me navigate the murkiness of my life #postphd, if you supported me + loved me through it all, THANK YOU.
Now watch God work in and through me to make His kingdom greater.